right sooooo i'm at home now
totally camwhored a little in school today
couldnt help it i just love my camera and me
me and my oversized pimples
been stressed lately
and apparently my face has a way to tell me how unhappy my body is
i love this one
i could see through the scarf
was fun
it's 11pm
can't believe i took 5 hours for this post
no i didn't i took a 3 hour nap
hahaha i was looking at my cat dee dee specifically
and wondered if she ever understood what i was saying
that wasn't just a passing thought
like how it usually is when you talk to your cat
i seem to have thought about it long and hard
like it was worth considering
i just woke up by the way
muffins getting a wand up his ass
honestly i wouldnt mind though
it's odd that i don't mind
what's the point of being raged, as long as he's having fun i'm fine
as long as it's not at my expense
i don't even know what i mean
right my thoughts are gonna be extremely random
cause it's pretty much how i see things and think about things and how i forget things
so upon thinkign about muffins
it's amazing what naps could do
but the best part is shitting
yes i said it shitting
i woke up and there was this clench deep down within me
and i just have to push it out of my system
so i half crouch to the toilet because the pain was getting rather sharp and unbearable
and immediately my brain started working
it's amazing isn't it
what a good way to start the day
i seriously think there is a relation with me shitting and how im having verbal constipation
the frustration and repression
oh siggy you genius i miss you so much
because i was think matthews called caught me off guard
as expected i didn't say much and pretty much laugh my way through
my head wasn't functioning well because it just started up
cause it was hilarious as i was picturing leon getting his dick snapped by a swan
he probably deserved it
right wait let me finish one thing at a time
so i was talking to my cat and she responded back
surely she gets what im saying right?
she stared at me like how youd stare into the eyes of the person
to have an engaging conversation
so my cat and i had a moment
that i haven't really noticed
i think i could hear her
somewhat
if im not crazy
i think she asked me how was my sleep
and i think i told her to fuck off
i mean who knows what im saying?
even i don't know
but i'm pretty much imagining it
now shes sleeping on my blanket that has my scent on it
i have decided to blog then start on metropolis
my power of procrastinating is extremely high but surely ill get it done today
or else i cant move forward to my model
right and i was shitting
and it felt as if each shit i dropped
the canal between my thoughts and my brain
starting clearing
like there was something interrupting my train of thought
and it stops me from thinking
so apparently shitting helps relieve that blockage
or it could that useful nap
so i began thinking about the effects of a handphone
its both a blessing and a curse
a curse being we can't live without it
trust me no matter how hard you tried
the society made it impossible to live without one
it's a blessing because when you call someone
it brings you closer to them
i don't know i experienced it when my baby called me all the way from uk
and i thought about it not too long ago
like how sms had an amazing impact on each of us
significantly because were so far apart and just when i text him
i somehow felt closer
like as if he were next door
of course he'd grin his ass off
because it makes this real
it's just amazing that technology would make you feel that way
only recently i began realizing this effect
that technology no longer becomes cold to us
it itself is developing an identity
its starting to create its own value
and how much we hate that we can't live without it
and probably AISEXUAL might not be impossible afterall
so i'm obliged to tell you how my day was
since this is a blog post i might as well do with it
what came to mind and what i could remember was that
hazimah and i participated in SD Talentime
how did we go?
well let me explain the situation
you know how prepared you are before you enter the judging panels
you were so sure you could pull this through
but as you take a step towards the judging panel
your sheer will and determination wears off
and turns into this fine line
and a lot of nerves
well that was me
and yes i fucked up a little
my knees were clearly shaking
but they loved us
XD
thank god for hazimah to cover me when i forgot the lyrics
but damn they love us
just hope were going to the next round
and results are next week
they clapped and did not ring the bell
clearly they were thoroughly enjoying themselves right
i hope im not being too presumptuous
by the time were done
it didnt feel like we just did the auditions
it was all too rushed and hastening
wooo i just burped my chicken rice
chicken breathe
right i was also checking out how i cannot seem to recall any dreams
or i may not have dreams pretty much
but science tells me its whether one can recall it at all
so people whom usually cant recall is because they are extremely pressured psychologically
maybe subconsciously i am psychologically challenged
but is not recalling dreams a bad thing
it didnt seem to me like it is
i just think that if i dreamt it means im disturbed or bothered by my subconsciousness
i was told once when i was a kid
that if i have no dreams
i had a good sleep
so i began embarking on a journey to find out what they got to say
i just think that the way my brain works is divine
so surely there must be a reason why i cant recall my dreams
OR i don't have dreams
probably to protect me from something?
all i could think of was how it would protect me from evil
i always think that dreams are like the tunnel
connected towards God
so whatever message or mail he wants to send
he'll send it to me through my dreams or something
all these dream talks are making my mind woozy
i still remembering have massive amount of dreams when i was young
and now it just stops
safe to say i have lost my dreams hahahaha
well i'm all out of juice
my brain doesn't wanna work anymore
no thats a horrid excuse
i just dont feel like typing anymore
i shall experiment this
recalling my dreams and sleeping more hours
importance of dreams is that it helps expose our subconsciousness
helps freud in that sense with his slightly flawed sexual repression theories
